I have to admit – I envy those few lucky ones whose spouses/partners went raw with them and who stayed raw together.
I am not one of them. Neither are most of my clients and readers.
And although my husband is very understanding of my life choices and is very supportive, he is not planning on going raw any time soon. So what’s a girl supposed to do in such circumstances?
Be very clear on your reasons for going raw and stay true to yourself. I believe that when we are confident in ourselves and we truly believe in what we are doing, it matters very little what others think. Make a list of all the reasons you went raw and keep in where you can see it daily.
Communicate openly. So very often our close ones resist changes we are going through because they feel their habits/beliefs are threatened and they think you will try to change them too. It is of utmost importance to discuss your decision to go raw with your spouse, to explain why you want to do it, and that it will not affect your relationship negatively. This is not about them. This is about you. If your spouse knows that all you want is to be healthy and happy, would he/she really resist you for that? Be kind and compassionate and never ever preach. Don’t criticize their dietary choices unless they ask for your opinion. Don’t make them uncomfortable by throwing judgmental glances at their dinner plate. The most important thing to keep in mind is that no matter how we would love our loved ones to benefit from eating raw foods, we can control only one person – ourselves. If you want to read some inspiring stories of how to deal with non-raw family members, check out Victoria Boutenko’s book “12 Steps to Raw Foods: How to End Your Dependency on Cooked Food
”.
Set up your space. This is so crucial to your success! I mean, you have His and Hers toothbrushes and towels, why not have His and Her shelves? Keep your raw food ingredients separate and in one place in the cupboards, set it up so it is the first thing you see when you open the doors, not the last. Do the same in your refrigerator – dedicate one shelf to all your produce and another shelf to the foods that your spouse and kids (if you have any) eat. This will make it easier for you to avoid temptations and will keep you more organized.
Make delicious recipes and invite your loved ones to try it. Smoothies and deserts are usually the easiest because everyone loves chocolaty things and cakes – you don’t even have to say that it is raw, trust me, if it’s super delicious they won’t mind! So often people associate raw foods with just carrots and celery sticks; if you create colorful dishes that taste amazing and are presented artfully, if you truly enjoy eating your food (and make yummy noises while doing it), sooner or later your spouse will express interest. Guaranteed!
Lead by example. When we switch to the raw food diet, we start going through a transformation. Not only do we lose weight, sleep better, feel more energized, but our personality oftentimes goes through transformation. We become calmer, more patient, more cheerful, and overall much nicer and easier to deal with (unless we were so amazingly wonderful to begin with). It won’t take long for your spouse or partner to notice the difference in you. Let the results of your new lifestyle speak for themselves.
Remember why you fell in love in the first place – I bet it wasn’t because of your dietary choices! Don’t make your relationship all about food. Enjoy each other’s company, laugh, play, do things together, have great conversations at dinner table and let the food be the nourishment for your body, not the centerpiece of your lives.
© 2009 Radiant on Raw
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Vladimirova, Raw Food and Lifestyle Coach, publishes "Radiant on Raw" -
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Alina - Nice blog. This is an issue which applies to men and women. I have never dated a raw vegan woman and am always inviting one into my life! Keep up the good work !
Posted by: John Kenneth Hautman | March 13, 2009 at 02:02 PM
I love this article! It's something that so many of us need to learn to handle. I mean, we aren't going to be leaving each other over food. But sometimes it feels like such a huge change for some people.
I think you really covered all the bases here Alina!
Posted by: Nathalie Lussier | March 19, 2009 at 09:39 AM
Understanding each other is very important in one couple, in our case of my hubby, he's the one who is very undestanding when it comes that sometimes I don't like his the food that he made for me.. :)
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